ONLY 10 MORE SLEEPS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!*
— Dave (@davechannel) December 20, 2023
*If you factor in at least one nap a day, which you obviously should.
YOU👏CAN'T👏CLAIM👏INFLATION👏GOING👏UP👏IS👏NOTHING👏TO👏DO👏WITH👏YOU👏BUT👏INFLATION👏GOING👏DOWN👏IS.👏LOOK,👏YOU'VE👏MADE👏ME👏DO👏THE👏CLAPPY👏HANDS👏THING👏THAT👏I👏HATE. https://t.co/KMNJjx9WzL
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) December 21, 2023
It’s a rebrand that really gives off “we’re going into administration next year” energy, so well done to all involved https://t.co/uv4wWcx9Ln
— James Ball (@jamesrbuk) December 23, 2023
Just wanted to float a new nickname for the 22nd December: Christmas Threeve
— Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) December 22, 2023
Campaign for Gromit to build HS2. https://t.co/WaX0WnFYQa
— ianVisits (@ianvisits) December 23, 2023
I don’t understand the messaging – if he were still hard at work on Christmas, while everyone else rests, I’d get it. “Your PM is always on duty” etc etc. But he’s watching Elf alone… what is this for? https://t.co/TBWTYWFIRD
— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) December 26, 2023
— Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper) December 26, 2023
Should have just let him sleep🤣 pic.twitter.com/sNScdSx61o
— Animal memes online (@catshouldnt) December 26, 2023
I do hate photographs like this. Why do these staff agree to pose with a PM determined to ensure they never receive a decent wage in their lives? https://t.co/m38Lf8AoxZ
— Anne Greensmith 💙 (@snowleopardess) December 27, 2023
he's been sliced pic.twitter.com/VYg3QHkn9L
— 𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕧𝕚 𝕏 🐱 (@lookabee83) December 26, 2023
It's been over seven years and the UK is still figuring out that leaving the EU means not being in the EU anymore. pic.twitter.com/jQ2HL4A0vu
— Palle! (@Palle_Hoffstein) December 26, 2023
When someone asks me if I'm a dog or cat person
— Noah ✵ (@noahdonotcare) December 27, 2023
me: pic.twitter.com/Rf4Kmd0N3e
The apology after ….. pic.twitter.com/UKheo9q1XC
— why you should have an animal (@shouldhaveanima) December 27, 2023
i have a pitch for @Wikipedia: instead of asking for $3 every time i open the site, you should host a yearly celebrity-filled gala. tickets should cost enough to keep the site going and each year's theme should be a wikipedia page generated at random
— Johnny LaZebnik (@jlazebnik) December 26, 2023
Like announcing in advance when you'll rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic. https://t.co/mYM169pMlK
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 27, 2023
I don't know who needs to hear this, but Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners
— Adam Thomas (@AdamMerrivale) December 18, 2023
Actually, I do know who needs to hear this
Everyone needs to hear this
My 6 year old wanted to tell me something but was adamant she couldn't say it in our house.
— April Ajoy (@aprilajoyr) December 20, 2023
So we get in the car and she says:
"Mommy, I don't think Santa is real but I didn't want to say it in front of Cheeks because it would upset him."
Cheeks is our Elf on the Shelf.
Huge news for Nessa! https://t.co/Eo5mOVQ461 pic.twitter.com/tURj1WZ2le
— Em 🌈 (@EmilyJBashforth) December 27, 2023
My Google searches today:
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 27, 2023
– why won't my washing machine spin
– appliance repairman cost to fix a washing machine
– how to fix a washing machine yourself
– how to put out an electrical fire
– cheap washing machines
I started video recording my gym workouts. Not for likes on social media, but for the paramedics to know exactly what happened
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 27, 2023
The never ending amount of peanuts in cheek pouches of this hamster pic.twitter.com/MytlyfOgFv
— Nature is Amazing ☘️ (@AMAZlNGNATURE) December 28, 2023
I once wrapped orange netting around the top of the Blackpool tower and fooled the whole country into thinking a national landmark was on fire. pic.twitter.com/vjP90uaBIG
— Matt 🌿 (@hxll_mxtt) December 28, 2023
Free eye tests in Blackpool tomorrow.
— Specsavers (@Specsavers) December 28, 2023
If there isn't a Strictly couple in orange netting-themed outfits for the Blackpool show next year then I don't know what we're doing.
— Ross McKay (@RossMc11) December 28, 2023
“And Blackpool Tower…which was NOT on fire” pic.twitter.com/4p0NcrI0cc
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) December 28, 2023
"Apparently someone has just rung in to Lancashire Fire and Rescue to say that Blackpool Tower is on fire. Well, don't worry, it isn't." pic.twitter.com/UgxbW84gKg
— Toddington (@HXValley) December 28, 2023
That's right James – we take full responsibility for the stormy weather that made crossings impossible. https://t.co/FwbhXqn75q
— Parody Rishi Sunak (@Parody_PM) December 28, 2023
please allow yourself no more than three (3) guesses as to what Dennis is reacting to because you won’t get it no matter how many you have https://t.co/CaeKg6LcVg
— Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) December 28, 2023
Why does this duvet set make it look like Holly Willoughby’s died? pic.twitter.com/M5SUaxMWnT
— Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) December 29, 2023
Ok this is great.
— Daniel Tomlinson (@dan_tomlinson_) December 28, 2023
Maps of every London underground line showing depth of each platform relative to sea and street level.https://t.co/V6354iEhmZ pic.twitter.com/DdEYwUfeu2
Any Prime minister should have to have served for at least a year before they can recommend honours. No? And the word ‘Empire’ could be replaced with ‘Excellence’. #Improvements
— Simon McCoy (@SimonMcCoyTV) December 30, 2023
King Frederik X (formerly Twitter). https://t.co/vWKaUSDUW5
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) December 31, 2023
It’s 2024 and we have Batman shampoo but STILL no Conditioner Gordon. pic.twitter.com/KfUAb0macs
— Daniel Holland🎗🏴 ॐ (@DannyDutch) January 1, 2024
Does Sophie not realise that the whole thing isn't about undergrads not bringing their parents with them, it's about post grads and PhD students not being allowed to bring their partners and kids. pic.twitter.com/vCrpIerC2I
— Joe Hardy 🇺🇦 🇪🇺♿️🐟 #RightToLove 💙 (@BlokeOnWheels) January 2, 2024
My major issue with being a traitor is that I’d have to stay up later than all of the faithfuls. #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK
— And I’m Victoria, Malcolm… ✌🏻🐑 (@husseybyname) January 3, 2024
James Marsden as Prince Edward gave us everything that Ryan Gosling gave us as Ken and yet no one even thought he deserved any kind of award for it. He perfected the lovably lost Himbo with a penchant for a musical moment. pic.twitter.com/DtTguKbY6m
— Tim Popp, Six, Squish, Uh uh… (@popphits) January 3, 2024
RIP Glynis Johns who taught a generation of girls that while we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 4, 2024
Jessie, listen, it’s not so much “etiquette” here as “act 3 of Hamlet isn’t the time or place for the HR Teams call” pic.twitter.com/Oa0FxhNHpa
— Dr Emily Garside (@EmiGarside) January 4, 2024
Kind of obsessed with Martin Sheen making political statements through his fictional chief of staff https://t.co/mF9GNFOYD0
— Becca Lundberg (@becca__lundberg) January 4, 2024
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?